just watched spiderverse again so here’s another hot concept: now that the multiverse is all blendy, portals start popping up everywhere in new york. it’s usually only for a few seconds, just long enough for a Villain of the Week to fly through and a spiderperson to swing in and punch them back into their dimension, sometimes with an assist from their new spiderman. nyc quickly settles into its new normal and starts debating which spidey team up is the coolest. meanwhile officer jefferson davis is starting to get real annoyed with the homeless-looking guy who keeps wandering through portals to “check up on” spiderman
officer davis: sir you need to go back through that portal right now or you could get stuck here and also die
peter b parker, watching miles swing straight into a wall and try to brush it off like he did it on purpose: haha nice
officer davis, upon running into peter for the fifth time in two weeks: sir please, you can’t just keep walking into other dimensions, it’s incredibly dangerous, you have to-
peter “been there done that” parker, cupping his hands in front of his mouth: yeah yeah yeah just- hold on- hey! hey spiderman! do a backflip!
officer davis, for the thirtieth time: sir. sir please.
peter b parker, who has recently been informed that officer davis is miles’s dad so stop talking to him you weirdo-: i know, this is super dangerous blah blah blah, i’ll go in a sec. but hey listen lol, next time you see spiderman can you ask him if he’s been using baby powder under his suit? especially the crotch area. he was looking stiff that last fight and i think he might be chaffing in the downstairs if you know what i mean-
spiderman, dropping from the sky to just fucking. toss hobo guy back through the portal: haha is this man bothering you officer
1. Of course Peter WOULD still be rocking homeless chic. “I am technically homeless here, Miles. Sure, since I come here on purpose now, I can bring a backpack. But it is still fairly obvious that I am living out of that backpack. Even if your money weren’t, yanno, purple–”
Miles: “It’s not–”
“–and more inflated than the pengő, I can barely afford one New York apartment. You know the most beautiful thing about webshooters, Miles? It’s that if I patented them, it would give away my secret identity. Sorry, did I say beautiful–”
2. At some point an actual credible threat is going to show up, and Jefferson is going to see the homeless-looking guy pick up a truck and throw it at whatever threatened Spider-Man.
I think Scenario 2 would still be better for his piece of mind than seeing Spider-Ham pop through a portal to assist Miles in a difficult fight.
